the boom doom theory

我感觉我快要喘不过起来了 两颗巨石快把我压垮了 为什么？为什么我还活着？ 我找不到活着的意义，这辈子我只为了别人而活 他们都说总得有一个人留下来 我也不问为什么了，就算我这辈子倒霉好了 我真的很累，我想休息。 我想拥有自己的人生不想有任何的牵绊。 神啊，我从来都不相信你能解救我 但如果你真的存在， 求您帮我解脱吧！

什么是好？什么是坏？ 学习好就是好人？学渣就成了社会败类？ 也许我没有孩子我不懂得要怎么教育孩子 但我曾经也是个孩子，你也曾经叛逆过 孩子的人生应该由他自己去走，至于要怎么走结果如何那也是他的人生 因为毕竟你不是陪他走到终点的人 你认为对孩子好的人事物不一定是他想要的 如果你不懂孩子想什么，就想想16岁的自己 想想16岁的自己在做什么 我也不知道自己幸还是不幸 因为我从小到达都没有自我 我的人生就奉献给了家人 所以我也很想要过一下那种年少无知的生活 我的人生应该由我主宰 但我...

early 80s, kuala lumpur, malaysia. giving the last kisses and goodbyes to her big kids, jen stepped out from the house pulling her neatly packed luggage. leaving almost no trails behind. "this is it", she mumbled. she recalled how she met their father 20 years ago she thought he was the right person that she was searching for. they got married when she was 16 and they got their first little girl. zen resembles her in a lot of way especially their big round eyes and button nose. he was a smart and hardworking guy working day and night to give them a better life but things slowly changed when his career spiked rapidly. he established his own company at the age of 30 when their second baby was born. the more money he made the less he came home. he started to attend a lot of events and gatherings with his partners and clients, mostly drinking and gambling events where he met a lot of younger women. he often came home drunken leaving all the mess behind for her to clean. he

boom doom! it's been ages since i blogged the last time, it was a biggest hit back then during my uni days. everybody was busy updating their blogs but now people are more into instagram, twitter, etc. i used to update a lot of status via my fb hoping that someone could at least care a little for me but i stopped it a while ago. to start with a new beginning, i have deleted all the previous posts that i don't even remember what i posted seriously! nah.. mumbled too much i guess. if i had stopped so long, why am i doing this again? oh.. tbh i'm just sorta bored and i tend to do that a lot.. being bored.. and being alone... it's kinda.. lifestyle i guess. people must be thinking that i'm lonely or what.. don't be silly! believe it or not, there are people like me who love being alone and not feeling lonely. i do feel lonely sometimes, when i'm not with my family. my family means my parents + my doggies.. i love them a lot. oh yea. i haven't introduce