boom doom chapter 1

early 80s, kuala lumpur, malaysia.

giving the last kisses and goodbyes to her big kids, jen stepped out from the house pulling her neatly packed luggage. leaving almost no trails behind. "this is it", she mumbled.

she recalled how she met their father 20 years ago she thought he was the right person that she was searching for. they got married when she was 16 and they got their first little girl. zen resembles her in a lot of way especially their big round eyes and button nose. he was a smart and hardworking guy working day and night to give them a better life but things slowly changed when his career spiked rapidly. he established his own company at the age of 30 when their second baby was born.

the more money he made the less he came home. he started to attend a lot of events and gatherings with his partners and clients, mostly drinking and gambling events where he met a lot of younger women. he often came home drunken leaving all the mess behind for her to clean. he would beat her when he got sober the next day for a small argument about yesterday.

being through all these hardest days of her life, she still believed and hoped that her husband would return to the man he used to be but the situation had only gotten worse. he gambled every day in every way he could have imagined. on days he won the bet, he would buy good foods and pay her more allowance. he would give their kids the most pretty toys and watches. on the other hand, he would come home and beat jen and begged for the money he gave her when he lost every single penny he had.

one afternoon, he came home silently tip-toed into the baby room. he carried their 3rd little baby daughter who was only 7 months old to one of their neighbors in return of cash. only did she know what had happened when she realized her baby was missing but it was too late. he accepted the money and used it to pay-off his gambling debts. jen has tried every way she could think of to bring back her baby but to no avail. she visited her baby a few times but was soon her present was rejected by the new family thinking that it would the best that all strings attached were cut off. she reluctantly left with a broken heart and accepted the fact that there were no ways to meet her baby anymore. nothing is worst than a broken-hearted mother. to her relief, her daughter's new father made a good fortune. jen was sure that she would be better off with the new family than staying in a hopeless family that she was trying to build.

she felt sorry for herself but even sorrier for her kids, they were the only reason that kept her strong and but she could not take it anymore when she knew he had an affair with a woman who worked in a pub he always goes to. all these years, she never know that they had a 10 years old son. this left her no choice but to divorce this cold-hearted man.

she took the first bus before sunrise to leave the city she had lived in for more than three decades, she sobbed a little. when the wind traveled through the window beside her seat hit her face and dried up her tears, she knew she was leaving for good. at least, it was what she thought at the that moment.

her youngest son was 15 when she left.

boom doom prologue

boom doom!

it's been ages since i blogged the last time, it was a biggest hit back then during my uni days. everybody was busy updating their blogs but now people are more into instagram, twitter, etc. i used to update a lot of status via my fb hoping that someone could at least care a little for me but i stopped it a while ago.

to start with a new beginning, i have deleted all the previous posts that i don't even remember what i posted seriously! nah.. mumbled too much i guess.

if i had stopped so long, why am i doing this again? oh.. tbh i'm just sorta bored and i tend to do that a lot.. being bored.. and being alone... it's kinda.. lifestyle i guess. people must be thinking that i'm lonely or what.. don't be silly! believe it or not, there are people like me who love being alone and not feeling lonely. i do feel lonely sometimes, when i'm not with my family. my family means my parents + my doggies.. i love them a lot. oh yea. i haven't introduced myself. i'm 30 and still single.. forever single 😃 you must be wondering, why is a 30 year old woman still sticking around with her parents and not living independently? you know, it's an asian culture, a lot of us do that. of course, for me i'm not following a culture or what.. simply because my mom, dad and dogs are all i care about now. this must be unusual for westerner.

oh gosh, i wish i could find a way to sharpen my language. i'm not usually good at english. my apologies if i did a lot of grammar mistakes and this write up seems to be lacking a lot of nice vocabulary. however, i do feel myself improved a lot compared to last time, i don't even dare to speak in front of everyone. i used to score poorly in primary and secondary school but i met a good lecturer in my pre-u. she's very passionate and a payer of compliments, no one ever compliments my english, she was the first. she encouraged me and made me more confident to be more outspoken but i didn't have the chance to thank her and i never met her again.. even worse, i'd forgotten her name. well, i will bring up another post to talk about how i learned and improved my languages.

i've been graduated for 8 years now, time flies. i halted my job seeking for half a year in the hope to continue my oversea study but somehow i was unable to go. this will be a new topic too. maybe i will update my story based on timeline ✌

anyways, i really wish to introduce more about myself and sharing more about my country malaysia. also, malaysian-chinese culture.. about my family and how we live together and our interactions.. even though i'm confident no one will be reading my blog, i still wish to do it just for my own sake. In like another 10 or 20 years time, i could read it back nostalgically and wonder, "how good if life could rewind, why the hell i'm still alive".